Timmy Lai

Gratitude, appreciation, giving thanks. No matter what words you use it all means the same thing. Happy.We’re supposed to be happy. Grateful for friends, family. Happy just to be alive.Whether we like it or not. I used to like Chinese New Year. Day people spend with their families. I also realized too much family time do triggers a bit of depression, repressed some childhood rage, Relatives bitter disputes over pass years resentment and way too much wine and alcohol kills the mood especially my beloved dad talking his way out. Some people get stupid. Some people get violent and some people get hurt. But I'm thankful for what I have and you have to realize some people in the world have even less than you. Maybe we’re not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful is recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciate small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we’re thankful for the familiar things ...

Here's another early post. For the record, I was contemplating the world ahead whether to publish all the old post i wrote. Well as my soul heals the shame, I believe I've moved on. To my amazement, all these old post actually ma kes me - grow-up faster and eventually become a better person . . . A twin Ikea top shelves sits in a corner on my table. My room is still filled with 'Relationship days' remnants that have seen better days. As I unpacks my CD case, loneliness finally overwhelms me. I sits heavily on the edge of the bed, tears threatening... Everyone wants to be loved and needed, particularly by the person who just broke up with us. I understand. What could be better than hearing from a girl who just told you she didn't want you in her life anymore, her sad, wistful " It's the same announcing it on my Facebook" voice on the other end of the phone? It's validating. It's exciting. It's irresistible. Fine! But what are we suppo...

This is a common occurrence, as it is a part of the writing process for a blog that explores something about my life. I didn't publish most of it because it brings 'The Great Depression' to my life and others as well. It is endlessly fascinating. I know that sounds sarcastic, but I'm being for real. This is of them that I didn't publish after writing a while ago.. He's that guy that's so tired from work, so stressed about the band coordination he's working on. He's just been through an awful breakup and it's really hitting him hard. His parents' indirect separation has scarred him last time and the breakup causes him more trust issues. Right now he has to focus on his career. He can't get involved with anyone until he knows what his life is about. Recently he received a job opportunity to work and study the same time in Australia. The move is highly questionable because he doesn't wants to go there, just to run away from the fact...