Timmy Lai

In the distance, I could see some really hungry working people congregating near the dunes of food of Hairun Maju Mamak, and as I watched them taking their food, I reached for my plate. Lamb on the side, an egg, and a glass of teh halia; I had almost the same thing everyday, after the exact same breakfast of dry bihun, scrambled egg whites, and a banana. I'm blessed with such luxury and comfort from Malaysia. Food and drinks are relatively cheap here. As much as I crazed the occasional adrenaline rush, my diet couldn't be more boring. Most days of the year are unremarkable. Despite being a Ipoh -ians ( The land of good food ), I can still live without some, it's just, sometimes I'm too lazy to think of where to eat and ended up myself at mamak. Due to time constraints, mamak stalls is the only solution I can think of, plus all mamaks embracing fast food concepts, operating 24 hours, 7 days a week. They even rise to the occasion by broadcasting major events like EPL ma...

Is love at first sight truly possible? (7 weeks later after the first encounter) Driving towards cell, I turned the question over my mind for what seemed to be hundredth time. Will she be there? Outside, our country's hot sun had long since set. A grayish sheen of haziness was visible through my sight, and aside from the cars burning rubbers on NKVE, all was quiet. It was beautiful and warm. A 'Heart Go Yonder' kind of warm - the kind of temperature that holds you like your mum did, when peace comes in a quiet breeze, and air begs to be taken in lungfuls. It was a lovely day at work, a day that I look at my student's assessment, a day that nourished. And I was lying on my bucket seat, listening to some slow numbers, my windscreen serving as a magnifying glass in the still of the night's moonlight sonata. The moving leaves above the parking lot were sifting moonlights; the stars looked like a thousand diamonds in a dazzling dance. Mmmm, it was beautiful. But ...

"You ready to change?" I said to myself in front of my bathroom mirror I don't mind if people can see a “few lines on my face,” or the slow decline of his early '90s heydays. I went to my bedroom and slipped into my comfy pants and a grunge, worn D2 t-shirt I owned since high school. It was remarkable now that I thought about it. Considering how crazy it was when I was younger. It seems like just yesterday I started college and got to know new people. And now I'm 28, facing the cold, hard truth. Thinking back, I supposed I could have done more. Memories trailed behind me, the good ones and the bad ones too. I should have done better in life, if only to be sure. Besides, I had no idea how to go on with my life. Loads of decision making. I wish there was an answer for the fatigue , which reminded me again that I was falling behind in my own resolution to lead a healthier life. Eating better, exercising, sleep regularly, stretching: I'd planned to start a...

Nicknames are cool. My best friend growing up was bestowed the name "Kumar Lai" by our group of friends because he was the only Indian dude who speaks Cantonese and hangs out with mostly Chinese cats. Over the years, his titled morphed, but the roots have remained. He now goes by "Blackie" though some of his friends calls him "Kumar Lai." Even in our late twenties, I still call him by this moniker. My another homie in our fraternity earned the nickname "Budak Keecii (Little Boy)" for some reasons not worth mentioning, but sadly the name that was stuck was "Joshua 'Lala' Lui," for some reasons not needing explanation. Fortunately for Josh, high-school was only five years, and his nickname didn't follow him (though the small boy frame did) A nickname is sometimes considered desirable, symbolising a form of acceptance, but can also be a form of ridicule. Some of my homies have endured, even exploited, their unusual physical...

June 17th, 2009. 9.00pm I remembered it was cloudy Wednesday evening and i was on my way to cell. My mate, Bernie, with rather mischievous eyes swing the door wide open for me. And told me that a beauty is visiting our cell. Well, as usual, I gave my mate the benefit of the doubt. "Thanks," I said sarcastically, as I gave him a pat on his back. "Don't mention!" he grunted as I walked towards the living room. The next 7 steps was a revelation. The moment I saw her, my world has stopped. All in an instant, and POOF! Like magic, and my heart suddenly swells in resonance before my eyes, It sings! Every sight of me turns Grey excepts her. Shes appears to be the only colored thing I see. (Man, how the butterflies stirred! How the butterflies stir even now as I write) I sat awkwardly, for about thirty seconds which felt like an eternity. She played with the hair behind her ear and smiled. She was wearing a Grey blouse, a matching shorts, and not to mention a ...

"I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid" (Gen. 3:10) I remember driving back from a futsal game one night, a friend and I were just sort of shooting the breeze about life and relationships and work. As the conversation deepened, he began to admit some of the struggle he was having. Then he came out with this confession: The truth is, Tim, I feel like I'm just faking my way through life...and that someday soon I'll be exposed as impostor." Wow, I'm surprised. This is a popular, successful guy who most people like the moment they meet him. He's bright, articulate, funny, and purpose driven. He's in a relationship with a beautiful women, has a great job, drives a new car, and basically living his dream. There is nothing on the outside that says, "going through loads of problem." But inside, it's another story. It always be. Truth to be told, most of us faking our way through life. We pick only those battles we are sure to win, only ...

In the memory of a friend loved by many - RIP Jeffrey Loh (1981 - 2004) "Timmy, it's all right to cry." I'd held it off all day, but the moment the coffin slid through the cremation chamber brought the biggest lump yet to my throat. It felt like I could have choked. But still I refused to cry. The arm around me grew tighter as I turned my face into the folds of my own coat. Under the other side, my mate James sobbed uncontrollably with huge heaves that shook his whole body. "Timmy, don't hold it all in" But I was going to hold it all in. All of it. I'd held it in for weeks, even though it had tried to escape many times. On the way to the crematorium it had threatened to break right through my chest, but I'd crossed my arms over my ribs to keep it imprisoned. He is one of my close mates in school, and whatever it was I was holding in, I wanted to keep it there. For myself I was frightened if I did as my other mates told me and let it out, ...